“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.” ~Unknown
We all do it or have done it at some point in our lives: We compare ourselves to others and gauge where we are based on what we observe them to be doing. If this was simply an observation, that would be one thing but in comparing ourselves to others, we often end up judging ourselves. And it just so happens that we are our own worst critic !
The thing about comparison is that there is never a win. How often do we compare ourselves with someone less fortunate than us and consider ourselves blessed? More often, we compare ourselves with someone who we perceive as being, having, or doing more.And this just leaves us coming up short. But our minds do want to quantify. Our minds want to rank and file and organize information. Our mind wants to know where we fit into the scheme of things. So we need to give it something to do. Have you ever found yourself doing this in aspects of your life where you are supposed to relax and focus on YOU ?
It’s mind-boggling how much energy we waste in our lives comparing ourselves to others, or wishing things were different in our lives rather than accepting what we have to offer the world as we are ! Doubting our own worth prompts us to look around and stack ourselves up against other people. Well, I’m not as good as her at ________, but at least I’m better than her at ________. But you can’t win at the comparison game. If you want to believe you’re better than someone, you have to believe you’re worse than someone, too. So if you ever find yourself needing a reminder to help avoid going down the insanity rabbit hole, here’s a little cheat sheet.
Two shortcuts to instant suffering:
1. Constantly compare yourself to everyone around you.
2. Pretend you can change things that are actually out of your control.
Two antidotes to suffering:
1. Keep your eyes on your own mat.
2. Let go of things you cannot control.
So, when you catch yourself comparing yourself to another, stop for a moment and re-direct the thought. Instead of submitting to the temptation to compare yourself to someone else, ask yourself a few questions instead.
What are you doing today that you couldn’t have done five, three, or even one year ago? How have you stepped out in the last year that you might have found inconceivable before?
What new decisions have you made or what new actions have you taken that have resulted in you moving in a new direction in your life?
What are your wins this year, compared to last year at this time? How has your life improved? How haveyou improved? What have you done recently that you never thought you could do?
What negative behavior have you stopped engaging in, that you never thought you could quit? What positive behavior have you been engaging in that up until now, you have resisted?
How are you doing more of what you said you were going to do and shown up more consistently for your own success?
In other words, how have you continued to become a new and improved version of yourself?
The more you focus on doing what feels right to you in your life, the less energy you’ll waste worrying about what other people are doing. And the more you let go of control where you don’t have it (and don’t need it), the more peace and freedom you’ll invite into your life.