It’s that time of year that people start to make crazy resolutions and try to reinvent themselves. What are you reluctant to try? By avoiding what we fear, we make that fear stronger. It is now time to change that gut reaction and go toward what you fear. If you are like me, I tend to shy away from what I am scared of “failing” at and then just go to the things I enjoy or know I am good at. In treating anxiety, I have a motto: “If it feels bad, do it.” People with anxiety tend to avoid situations that lead to more anxiety. Avoidance reinforces the idea that you are fragile and cannot handle difficulty. And who wants to feel fragile ?
The key to getting past your fear is doing the things you fear. For example, that box that you fell on doing box jumps left an impression on your mind and body!!! Now anytime you even see the box you are slightly reminded of the feeling that you had when you fell. However, if you would just do another box jump and see that everything is ok, you are now facing and conquering the fear instead of letting it grow. What have you been avoiding because of fear, be it in the gym or in life? The new year is a great time to set up new challenges.
Many people suffer from some type of performance anxiety. No matter where you are on the spectrum, facing your fear will work. Design the same strategy as you did with the box. Start small and work your way back up the height that scared you. Practice these skills at increasingly difficult levels until you have mastered them. Are you afraid of looking foolish ? The solution is to practice looking foolish. After practicing, your fear will be diminished as you realize you can survive. Wear a crazy hat or sing at a karaoke bar in front of strangers. After doing these extreme tasks, nothing will seem difficult. I felt afraid the first time I learned butterfly pullups, but the more I put myself up to the challenge of looking foolish and just went for it, the easier they became and the less I worried about what people thought.
Do you have real social anxiety? For some people, talking to people at the gym can be difficult. If you find yourself closing off to others, you can follow the same principles above to put yourself in more ‘danger.’ Learning how to give yourself an opportunity to fail and look foolish is a learning principal for you! Sometimes there are opposite ends of the spectrum and people try to use their “ego” weight. Bad form does not make you look better no matter what ! Good form at a lower weight will always out weigh bad form.The goal of all of this is to teach that doing one good rep with less weight is more courageous than doing heavy reps with bad form.
Most people use fear to guide them away from danger. But much of what we fear is not actually dangerous. I try to train people to go against those false alarms and do the opposite. If it feels bad, do it. Push through those plateaus.